All She wants to do is Dance! Dance!

Every morning I wake up and I feel I have misplaced something….what could it be? I have

my wedding ring on my left hand, my purse is on the dresser, my husband is snoring next to

me….what is it what is this over whelming feeling of something missing something lost ?

Is it that I didn't get to go to my senior prom?
Absolutely not! (pretty in pink reference)

Is it that I dint have enough adventures?
No…many adventures await and many I have already been on.
"I'm going to go to Morocco for one year"

Is it the extra weight I am carrying?
No Buddha Belly and Ghetto Ass still in tow.

Anyway what is it?

I am a nice little house wife giving Ben the steady life while he works to make his dreams come true…Law School and corner office. What is missing>?

And I realize it's a college degree! I have started and quit and college enough times to realize how much I hate the structure of it all…but I still know that my soul and pride will not be content until I have my framed diploma in our study.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

More than anything in my life I want to be a mom…I think its what I was bred for. I am a care giver its my number one good quality…Its got me into a lot of trouble in the past trying to help people who don't want help….it really is a heart breaking role.

But I know what I want my role to be …I want to stay at home with my kids and make cookies, fly kites, play catch, ext…..but it seems like a slap in the face to everyone I tell.

Its always the same thing….they say " we get it you want to be a mom, but what else?" and am I supposed to try and rationalize and answer for this am I supposed to say "that's it just a mom"

So usually I don't care what people think…but this one seems to get to me more than most…so I feel like right now I am making decisions based on what I truly desire and not what's gong to make other people happy or comfortable when they ask me the horrible dreaded question "What do you do?" or "What do you want to do with your life?"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I have had many jobs in my short lifetime New York Nanny, Employee at TARC, Caregiver for Children w/ Autism, Volunteer Coordinator at Habitat for Humanity, Waitress (very short lived), secretary, Day Care Employee, Camp Counselor, and so on a so forth….they all have been great experiences but there is not one that sounds as good to me as raising my own children.

Rant! Rant! Rant!

Anyway….I guess next time you see me I will be reading Chaucer and working on that degree.